Why The Fuck Was I Breached?

A brutally honest excuse generator for modern security incidents.

Did you just lose 100m customer SSNs because your root password was "password", you set an S3 bucket to public, or you didn't patch a well-known vulnerability for 8 months?
Is the media and government chewing you out because of it?
Worry not! Our free excuse generator will help you develop an air‑tight breach statement in no time!
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